Now granted some of these are indeed pretty dumb. Bynes is obviously either going through some horrendous public mental meltdown, or she's the greatest celebrity performance artist since Joaquin Phoenix (sorry, Tilda Swinton, you don't even rate).
But really? The Toronto Sun wants to call people out for dumb quotes? Okay, fair enough. After the jump are the five dumbest Sue-Ann Levy quotes I've read this week alone:
- "Councillor Doug Ford scored a touchdown on his Newstalk 1010 show Sunday."
Sure, blasting the media for doing their "journalism thing," touting his own awesome charity work, and calling us all racist for wondering why his brother the mayor was looking trashed while standing in a picture with a since-gunned-down drug dealer flipping the camera the bird. Nice touchdown. Must be why he was celebrating yesterday... oh wait...
- "These very same people who would be the first to give a wide berth to terrorists and repeatedly prop up the provincial Liberals — even as they steal our tax money — have descended to nothing short of a public lynching of the mayor."
This is true. Left-leaning reporters love terrorists. I can't tell you how many times the banner headline above the fold in the Star has been "Al-Qaeda, Fuck Yeah!" I think I saw Rosie DiManno and Royson James doing the wave while watching CNN coverage of the Boston Marathon bombing. And absolutely, a left-leaning newspaper supporting a left-leaning government is totally equivalent to being critical of a crackhead mayor. How dare they be against a lying crackhead while being for a morally ambiguous provincial government. It's not like the Toronto Sun would ever turn on a lying crackhead mayor while supporting a morally ambiguous federal gover... shit. Scratch that.
- "The not-so-Christian Toronto District Catholic School Board announced Wednesday that they’ve removed the mayor as coach of his beloved Don Bosco Eagles. The timing of the move was not just unfortunate. It was cruel, given how much Ford loves coaching that team."
Dear Parents,
We're pleased to inform you that Mayor Rob Ford will be returning to coach your sons this coming season. Sure, he's been accused of smoking crack, calling all of your children "just fucking minorities," and he's claimed that they'd all probably be dead if it wasn't for him. But you know, he really, really loves coaching football. He loves it so much that he regularly does it instead of his job running a city of 2.5 million people with a budget of $14 billion. So we've invited him back. Your children (the ones who'd be dead otherwise, most likely from selling crack or smoking crack) will be under the supervision of this accused crackhead (who has yet to state he's never actually smoked crack) several evenings a week. This is mostly because we don't want to hurt his feelings. He's having a tough week.
Sincerely,
The Toronto District Catholic School Board
- "Meanwhile, Ford — who has given his $100,000 salary away to various charities — said he’s absolutely appalled with the way they’ve been treated for coming down to City Hall and trying to do the right thing."
I give spare change to homeless people whenever I can. I know that's not worth a hundred grand, but surely, by this logic, I should at least be able to punch a baby in the face now and then. That's the scale right? Donate a loonie to the homeless - punch a baby. Donate $100,000 a year - break the law multiple times and get away with it, go a long way toward destroying the international reputation of a great city, spout any old racist, homophobic, sexist crap you want, and lie with impunity without ever being held to account by your rabid supporters. Sounds fair.
- "Most of all, how can we have any faith in Metrolinx’s Liberal masters at Queen’s Park given the endless litany of scandals"
Let me just get this straight, because I actually had to read this sentence a few times to wrap my head around the cognitive dissonance at work here. So Rob Ford, alleged crackhead, quoted racist, sexist and homophobe, proven breaker of both campaign finance and conflict-of-interest laws, accused ass grabber, hockey game stranger-tormentor, AIDS-through-unprotected-heterosexual-sex denier, and champion of the "Oriental" people's dog-like work ethic ("they sleep beside their machines!") is alright and being unfairly targeted. But the provincial Liberals are just too scandalous to be trusted. Now I'm not saying they're not - the McGuinty/Wynne government has pulled its share of shenanigans. But the logic behind this quote is actually mind-boggling.
Anyway, at least we don't have to see Ms. Levy piercing her cheeks and posting nude selfies on twitter while asking Drake to murder her vagina. (Yes, I know she's gay, but I doubt we'll hear about her asking Rihanna to murder her vagina any time soon either).
So thank god for small favours.
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