Burnt Out On Fords

Taking some time off. Need to chill.

Rob Ford Broke Several More Laws Last Night And Queen Bathurst Has Filed A Complaint With The City Of Toronto

If that was a set up to watch the Fords fail, Sun News certainly went about it in a funny way.

Yesterday we told you about our reasons for believing that the Ford Nation "reality show" that aired last night on SNN was the worst kind of crass commercialism/carnival sideshow.  I also mentioned the opinion of Sun columnist and political strategist Warren Kinsella that the show was aired specifically so that the Fords' could fail and make their situation worse.

Sun News' Ford Nation: Carnival Sideshow? Network Setup? Illegal Campaign Contribution? Or All Of The Above?

Tonight marks the debut of one of the all-time world champion assholefests you or I are ever likely to see in our lifetimes.  Ford Nation, Sun News Network's "reality show" starring our hopefully-soon-to-be-erstwhile mayor and his hopefully-soon-to-be-struck-with-a-permanent-case-of-laryngitis brother, kicks off this evening at 8 PM.  This will be some kind of something.

If I Was Robyn Doolittle

Today has been pretty slow thus far as compared to yesterday.  Some interesting things did happen of course--Council stripped Mayor Ford of his committee appointment powers and his emergency management powers.  Ford in response gave a speech about how he totally gets it and he'd do the same, except of course he has to support himself so instead he's going to challenge the maneuvers in court.  He then decried the cost to the taxpayers of that court challenge--the one he's bringing himself.  You can't make this stuff up.

Anyway from this point forward Norm Kelly is basically the acting mayor.  By Monday, when motions to remove Ford's office budget, his ability to hire and fire staff, and his seat on the executive are passed, he'll literally just be a guy in Council called "Mayor" who can make his one vote on motions and not much else.  So I hope he enjoys the title.

Rob Ford Is A Cracked Out, Coked Up, Staff Attacking, Woman Harassing, Pussy Hunting, Hookering, Drunk Driving, Racist Tosspot With Ties To A Murder. Now Sue Me Because I Ain't Being "Careful"

"Be careful on what you write."

- Rob Ford, November 13, 2013

It's D-Day.  Nuclear Wednesday.  Armageddon.  Whatever the fuck.  It's one hell of a day, anyway.  Ford was verbally demolished in council (not that it mattered all that much since no one can actually force him to do anything at all) and admitted he'd bought illegal drugs.  Then the new Lisi ITO was dropped, sans a whole ton of the redaction from the last version.  And that's when shit got CRAZY!

Rob Ford Knew Anthony Smith, Says Staffer

Anthony Smith, one of the men in the infamous photo of Rob Ford in front of 15 Windsor Road, the alleged crack house, was shot and killed on March 28, 2013.

Today Rob Ford claimed he only met him the once and didn't know who he was.

Does The Already-Legendary Second Rob Ford Video Not Actually Exist?

From a brief Twitter exchange with Toronto Star crime reporter Jennifer Pagliaro, who is at the courthouse while the fate of the release of the Rob Ford crack video is decided:

In Which The Mayoral Crisis Is Solved To As Much Mutual Satisfaction As Possible

As I pointed out the other day, we're in some weird terrain at the moment.  We have a mayor who's admitted to smoking crack, who's lied to us numerous times, who may just be involved in some more serious crimes, who has lost all credibility and the ability to properly carry out his job as spokesperson for the city, and who, despite pressure from just about everyone, refuses to step down or even take a leave of absence.  Nobody wants him, but no one can get rid of him, and he's too pig headed and selfish to see the damage he's causing by remaining.  It would be funny if it wasn't happening to us (and is, I suppose, if the late night talk shows are any indication).

But wait.  There are some people who want him.  Those patriotic denizens of the so-called Ford Nation are as gung-ho as I've ever seen anyone to forgive and forget even the most egregious transgressions from their droog and leader.  We can all sit around bitching about how stupid these people are, but they still make up a sizeable percentage of the population.  Even, dare I say it, another plurality--especially if Ford manages to hunker down and emerge after the 11 months until the next election relatively unscathed (unlikely, I know, but possible).  As a band that ran afoul of another Toronto mayor once said: memory is a strange thing.  By next October enough of his casual supporters might have forgotten enough of this situation's urgency so as to put him back over the edge into another term.

Gord Perks Is Very, Very Wrong

On Wednesday I wrote an open letter to a few different constituencies regarding the Rob Ford mess.  One of those groups to whom part of it was addressed was that of city councillors on the right side of the spectrum who, while finally acknowledging that Ford has myriad problems, were taking a wait-and-see approach to embarking on any sort of political action against him.  I called them cowards trying to play both ends against the middle so as to maintain deniability that they had turned on their ally mayor should he manage to pull through this crisis and remain in office (or, god forbid, win another election).  I stand by that characterization - I think it's bordering on criminal that these people aren't screaming at the top of their lungs, pounding on tables, rending garments, anything it takes to get the point across that Ford has to go.

One direction from which I did not foresee opposition to taking strong legislative action if possible to remove Ford is the far left.  And then Gord Perks penned a letter to one of his constituents, explaining his decision to sit on his hands and wait for the next election to sort out the mayoral crisis.  The election taking place almost a full calendar year from now.  Perks gave an impassioned defence of the democratic process and its role as the paramount authority on whom should or should not be removed from office.  He made some excellent points about us knowing with whom we were getting into bed before the last election, and about not succumbing to easy, reactive anger when we're dissatisfied with what our elected officials do with the mandate we provide them.

PREDICTION: If Rob Ford Only Takes A Couple Of Weeks Off, We're All Totally Screwed

So here we go.  Rob Ford's mom and sis think he's a little troubled but basically alright.  His brother thinks he should take a week or two off (because everybody kicks crack in a fortnight, dontcha know?).  The Toronto Sun is talking about a month or two, as are some of his most ardent council supporters (Mammo you dog, I figured you'd have recognized the opportunity for a palace coup and pounced by now).  Sure, the people on the other side of the ideological aisle in the press and on council are still calling for his resignation.  But come on now.  Rob Ford resign over a pesky thing like being a lying, drunken  crackhead with some unexplained ties to murder, extortion, and a whole universe of transgressions great and small?  Not on your life.

Don´t you see, he will have a SUBSTANCE ABUSE PROBLEM to point to!  Now that Sven Dougi has given him the cover he needs to take a couple weeks off, he can spend three weeks on a fishing boat or a Caribbean beach or even in some high class Betty Ford knockoff and he will have ACKNOWLEDGED HE HAS A PROBLEM.  He will have SOUGHT TREATMENT FOR AN ALCOHOL AND DRUG ISSUE.

Ford Watch: Day Crack+2

It is the second day since the mayor of Toronto admitted that during his time in office he smoked crack while in a drunken stupor.

He hasn't quit yet.

Yeah.  I know.

An Open Letter To Anyone Interested In This Rob Ford Business, Containing Some Specified Targets

It's been months, but I've resurrected the blog for one post.  I couldn't resist.

Dear Whomever,

Rob Ford is an awful human being.  I'm not parsing words here (unlike a certain mayor I could name).  Rob Ford is terrible.  Rob Ford is really, really crappy.  Rob Ford is just the worst.

There, now that the polite part of my letter is out of the way, let's get to the good stuff.

TO THE SUPPORTERS OF ROB FORD:  If you still support him, you are stupid.  Monumentally stupid.  You should probably move out of Toronto so you don't pollute our gene pool with your stupidity. Evolution has left you behind.  This has nothing to do with his politics, only his character and his actions.  I want to be crystal clear on this point because I don't want anyone to get the impression that I'm joking or that I only sort of believe this. I can't emphasize this enough.  If you still support Rob Ford you are seriously dumb. You don't deserve to be allowed to handle money or have children or have any sort of position of authority in your career or be involved in any other situation where you have even a scintilla of responsibility over anything. You shouldn't own a goldfish. You should probably be hospitalized and observed closely for the rest of your life. You are a liability as a person. Need I go on?  Okay, I will.  You are the most gullible group of morons to ever grace this planet.  You make me wish chemical castration could be legally applied based on the comment section of the Toronto Sun's web site.

Do you think I'm being unfair to you?  Let me spell it out for you in terms even you can understand.  THE MAYOR WHOM YOU SUPPORT BECAUSE YOU THINK HE'S JUST A NORMAL GUY LIKE YOU AND THAT HE SAVES THE CITY AND YOU, THE TAXPAYER, MONEY IS ACTUALLY A SPOILED RICH BRAT WHO NEVER WORKED A REAL DAY IN HIS LIFE, WHO HASN'T ACTUALLY DONE MUCH OF ANYTHING AS FAR AS SAVING TAX DOLLARS, WHO HAS SCARED OFF SO MUCH INVESTMENT IN THE CITY OF TORONTO NOW AND IN THE FUTURE THAT YOU WILL PROBABLY END UP PAYING FAR MORE OUT OF POCKET IN THE COMING YEARS THAN YOU EVER HAVE, AND WHO, NEED I REMIND YOU, IS A LYING CRACKHEAD WHO HANGS OUT WITH GANGBANGERS, SOME OF WHOM END UP DEAD SHORTLY THEREAFTER.  Is it sinking in yet?  Should I kick you in the genitals several times in a row?  It seems to me if I did you'd still hand me over your week's pay if I asked nicely enough and liberally sprinkled the words "gravy train" into my request.  Holy shit you are the worst.  Wake up before your families have you declared legally incompetent and try to get power of attorney over you.  I don't think they'd have a tough time doing so.

Is Rob Ford A Clinically Diagnosable Psychopath?

Here's a fun little exercise for a Monday.

We've been laying off the Rob Ford story/trainwreck/crap-o-rama for the last little while because we (by which I really mean I) were starting to seem kind of obsessed with the whole matter.  It started to feel a little unseemly.

Banned From Gawker Update: John Cook Finally Responds To Me (Sort Of)

So, John Cook, editor of Gawker  and the guy who messed up the whole Rob Ford crack tape thing pretty badly, put up a long post yesterday about why people get blocked from Gawker.

While my frequent requests for an answer to that very question were not directly addressed, I've decided to take full credit for being the impetus behind him posting that.  The 3000 and counting pageviews of my original Banned From Gawker post and the frequent links it's received both on other Gawker Media sites and other various places on the internet can attest to that.  He also takes a couple shots in the post ("Are you mad about our Rob Ford coverage?" for example) that seem pretty specifically geared toward my repeated haranguing.

Anyway what his whole piece boils down to is If We Think Your Post Is Dumb We'll Block You Because We Can Do Whatever We Want On Our Site.  Which is true.  I still invite anyone to take a look at the original piece I wrote and then to tell me if you think what I said falls within the criteria he listed for why they block people.

Calmly Addressing CreepShots (or, Alex Tries Empathy)

We can all agree the internet is pretty great.  It might be the most democratic invention in history, and it sure is swell for sharing media, too.  Of course, sometimes that media comes in the form of a bunch of photos taken of unsuspecting women in public places by a crop of Darwinian rejects trying to capture their "raw sexiness" because they apparently have a "right to it".

Sue-Ann Levy Actually Wrote Something Critical About The May- Oh Wait, Wrong Mayor...

Crack.  Coverups.  Denials.  Homophobia.  Misogyny.  Racism.  Drug Dealing.  Lies.  Harassment (both verbal and sexual).  Shirking Of Responsibilities To Coach Football.  Campaign Finance Law Violations.  Conflict Of Interest Law Violations.

These are all things the current mayor of Toronto is or has been either directly or tangentially involved with.  Some of it is stuff he's up to his ears in at this very moment.

So what does our intrepid Toronto Sun City Hall Columnist Sue-Ann Levy decide to write about?

David Miller.

Free Melky: MLB Is Sanctimonious And Stupid About PEDs

Steroids!  OoOoOoOoOoOo!  Scary!

The Blue Jays' Melky Cabrera, who's already been suspended once for using performance enhancing drugs (PEDs), is on the block again.  As reported yesterday by ESPN.com and then like a million other people, he and about 19 other players are facing suspensions for connection with an alleged PED-supplying clinic.

People Are Wack, Part I Of Infinity

From the Facebook page of Gabrielle Neveu, Owner/Manager of Trap Door Boutique (2993 Dundas Street West):

Today's CUSTOMER of the WEEK: 

Man struts in and says: "HI, How's Sue doin'?" 

Me: "Sue? I don't know who you mean?" 

Man leaves without a word and comes back with a friend from his "BAND."
They have pizza slices from across the street and commence eating that is difficult to describe. 

Man (chewing): "You know, Sue who I used to date before she went mental and threw all my stuff including that dress from your shop I bought her all over Weston Road?" 

Me: Oh yes, um.....Sue .......I haven't seen her at all......ever 

Man (lip smacking pizza): Nevermind, what pants are you gonna dress me in?  Cuz I gotta look hot on stage! (elbows buddy also chewing pizza loudly) "She'll dress you up right man, she'll make sure pants fit right (winks), and she makes shirts too." 

Buddy: (munch munch) "Right on!" 

Man: "Remember that shirt you custom made me? Sue bought me that fucking unbelievably cool shirt man....... it's on Weston Road too."

Me: "I could make another one if you want..." 

Man: (hands me empty pizza plate and wipes face with his own sleeve) "Yeah it's expensive in here, tell Sue I said HI!" 

Pizza Band exits.....I have the pizza plate in my hand and I don't know who the heck these people are but I do know why "Sue" went mental!!!!

Thoughts On Reciprocity As It Relates To Your Stupid Kickstarter Campaign

When I'm not writing at my day job or any one of a thousand other places to which I provide my signature brand of wit and candour, I'm writing for and performing in my two-piece alt-nerd-folk-rock-comedy duo Nerds With Guitars.  We're sort of a known quantity in the Toronto fandom scene, mostly because there aren't too many acts around here who do what we do, but it leads us to be asked to do some pretty cool things every so often.  For example, this past March we were invited to be guests at Emerald City Comic Con in Seattle, where we got to play on stage with some rather remarkable musical acts.  As part of the weekend I was asked to sit on a panel about nerd music (which is way more of a thing in the 'States than it is here), an honour for which I wasn't 100% prepared.  But thankfully I'm a talker so I managed to stumble through.

Dear NOW Magazine - You're Dead (And It's About Time)

I'm obviously not breaking any new ground by saying this, but print is dead.  Not kind of dead.  Not "well I still like the feel of paper in my hands once in a while but I do most of my news reading online" dead.  But totally, fully, one hundred per cent deceased.  Print is like the hooker in that asshole senator's room in Godfather Part II - not only dead, but without family or friends.  It will not be missed by anyone once it's actually out of sight.  Completely irrelevant as an entity.

Yesterday, NOW Magazine printed a letter to the editor I wrote (or didn't even really write, it was actually a comment on one of their stories that they turned into a letter to the editor).  This is what it said:

Rob Ford hasn’t denied that the incident in the alleged crack video ever happened (NOW, May 24). He only denied having seen the video, with a line tossed in about the video maybe not existing at all. Which might mean he’s already bought it – or feels safe enough assuming it won’t come out.
Andrew Ryan Fox 

Banned From Gawker Update: Banned From Gawker Again!

There you have it.  I gave their editorial staff several days to respond to my question seeking clarification for why I'd been banned for asking them to front the money for the Rob Ford crack tape.

Today, I decided to use my other account to needle them about it publicly.  So on their current piece about Rob Ford's press conference today, I posted the following comment (linking to my original story about being banned the first time):

ARFox - Max Read
Of course if you guys had actually fronted the money for the crack tape instead of banning people for asking why you didn't, maybe Rob Ford would be long gone by now... 19 minutes ago

Grumpy Cat, Or: Why Memes Should Not Be Movies

I'm sorry guys.  I had a big post planned for today because it's my 29th birthday and I was going to give the "old guy on the front porch" treatment to a bunch of different topics, but then a dozen people in my news feed informed me Hollywood's doing a Grumpy Cat movie and everything got completely derailed.

"I Bought Hash From Doug Ford"

Editor's note: The decision to publish this piece was not taken lightly.

When the author first approached me about posting a personal essay regarding his recollections about buying hash from Doug Ford in Etobicoke in the 1980s while his brother, current Toronto mayor Rob Ford, was present, I was both incredibly excited and instantly terrified.  The Globe & Mail's in depth report on Ford's drug dealing past had just been printed, and obviously the atmosphere around the Ford brothers right now is extremely heavy.  It's no secret that they're both powerful and vindictive.

A Non-Eulogy For Non-Evolved Non-Thinkers In The Wake Of Henry Morgentaler's Death

You know what I've always thought are really fantastic? Human rights. Now that I've outed myself as a radical free thinker with that newfangled, revolutionary stance, let's get down to brass tacks, because I think a few things need to be addressed in the wake of Henry Morgentaler's death.

Everybody who didn't know who Morgentaler was probably does by now, if only because news travels fast on the internet and, to put it mildly, the man was a bit polarizing. Specifically, he had a thing about legalizing abortions here in the Great White North. More specifically, he thought it was a pretty keen idea and spent the majority of his life (when he wasn't busy surviving the Holocaust) lobbying for a woman's right to dictate what happens to her body. Bluntly, this fucked a lot of people right off.

Rob & Doug, Show Us Your Books Campaign Update

Welly-welly-well.  It's been three days, and the Rob & Doug, Show Us Your Books Campaign has raised a grand total of $0.  That's zero dollars.  As in none.  Nada.  Zip.  Zilch.  Big huge rolling goose egg.  The opposite of something.  An existential abyss of unfundedness.

And that's cool.  It would have been nice to raise some money for charity (and the campaign is still live for seven more days so there's still time to donate to CAMH).  But this story is evolving so quickly that whether Rob and/or Doug bought the tape themselves seems more like a quaint historical mystery to a lot of people than an actual pressing public concern.

Besides, it did accomplish its secondary goal, which was to serve as pretty obvious clickbait for a brand new blog (which, given the fact that I was silenced by Gawker for daring to question their Crackstarter campaign, I don't feel the least bit bad about being forthright about, unlike them).  The Rob & Doug, Show Us Your Books Campaign post has generated four times as many hits as any of the other posts on this blog.  Considering the 2000 page hits we received in our first two days of existence, that's not too bad.

Still, I sure would like to see it work.  I'm not exactly what you'd call optimistic about the prospect, but hey, it's fun to hope.

Brian Burke Once Gave A Handjob To Pavel Bure

At least that's a rumour I heard.  Or maybe it's one I just made up.  The point is it's on the internet now.  Therefore I guess he has the right to serve notice to me online that he can sue me, right along with Poonerman and Slobberface.

No word on whether he got Pavel pregnant afterward.

Mr. Burke, the E-mail address I can be reached at is on the right side of this page.  I await my notice that I'm being sued.

Banned From Gawker For Asking Them To Pay For The Rob Ford Tape Themselves, Even As A Loan

Up until a few of days ago, I was a fairly regular commenter on Gawker.  Not obsessive or trollish about it, but I enjoy the site and its brethren (Deadspin, io9, etc.) and I make my stupid comments sometimes and then I go on with my life.

Well on Friday, after the mayor's press conference (the one where he says he doesn't use crack cocaine but fails to deny he ever had), Gawker put up a post calling him out for his parsing of words.  Having already decided along with a lot of other people that if Ford hadn't bought the tape yet he was surely at least close to doing so (that smirk really gave it away for me), I put up a comment on the Gawker story addressing John Cook, the author as well as the editor who broke the story to begin with.  I implored him to reach into Gawker Media's incredibly deep pockets and at least front the money for the tape if they could find the guys who have it.  If they insisted on using other people's money, they could still get it back a few days later when the Crackstarter campaign was finished, but in the meantime the Fords might get their grubby, KFC grease-lathered fingers on it.

Pots, Stones, Glass Houses And Kettles

Yesterday, the Toronto Sun published a list of dumb Amanda Bynes quotes.

Now granted some of these are indeed pretty dumb.  Bynes is obviously either going through some horrendous public mental meltdown, or she's the greatest celebrity performance artist since Joaquin Phoenix (sorry, Tilda Swinton, you don't even rate).

But really?  The Toronto Sun wants to call people out for dumb quotes?  Okay, fair enough.  After the jump are the five dumbest Sue-Ann Levy quotes I've read this week alone:

This Is Why Ford Supporters Stay So Loyal

Hey, look, we're all sick to death of the mayor using the Toronto Star as his go-to whipping pony.  Mayor smoked crack?  Gotta be a Star conspiracy.  Mayor is a drunken mess?  The Star spiked his lemonade.  Mayor killed a hooker?  The Star sent her to his room and handed him the gun.

But then I go to thestar.com and see this at the top of the page:

This shit really makes me cringe.  It's one thing to go after the mayor of the city for smoking crack with the very people he fights so hard (in public, anyway) to supposedly rid the city of.  Exposing a man in a position of major elected authority for using a highly addictive substance and calling people "fags" and "fucking minorities" is absolutely in the public interest.  Pressuring the same man to resign after such a prolonged attempt to deny and then to cover up those allegations is also fair game.

This, however, I think is unconscionable:

Three independent sources told the Star on Monday that Nick Kouvalis fired Massoudi from Ford’s 2010 mayoral campaign after the campaign heard that Toronto police, investigating an open car door, found marijuana inside and traced the car to Massoudi. 

According to one source, Massoudi said the car had been broken into.  No charges were laid and the Star cannot verify the information. At press time Massoudi had not responded to the Star’s calls, emails and social media messages.

Gawker Hasn't Posted A Story In Over Two Hours

They're usually more prolific than that, even in the evenings.  Could they maybe be gearing up for dropping a big bomb on us tonight?

Fuck I hope so...

Hey Drug Dealers - I've Got $200 And A Case Of Beer For You If You Send Me One Of The Copies Of The Rob Ford Crack Video As An Exclusive!

So I was just sent the link to this HuffPost story by an anonymous commenter.  Apparently there are more copies of the Rob Ford crack video, so even if the dealers got paid by the Ford brothers for it, they may still have a duplicate kicking around.

Well I have a message for those dealers - how about instead of taking the $200,000 from Gawker (since that money goes to charity if they don't give it to you), you REALLY stick it to the man and send it to me instead.

Queen Bathurst is a brand new blog, that's received approximately 800 page views in its first full day.  That's nothing, obviously.  But hey, wouldn't it just be amazing to break this massive, world-wide story on some tiny site?  I mean, who doesn't want to give the finger to big media by helping out some nobody with a Blogger account?

In exchange, I'll give you $200 (Canadian, or 2400 Mexican pesos if you prefer) and a two-four.  Any beer you like.  Even some fancy imported shit.

That's a pretty good deal, no?  Especially if you've already been paid once for it.

It would sure be one hell of a coup for us.

So whaddya say?

So, Like, Ford Apparently Just Hires People He Meets Wherever...

Just read the Toronto Star report about the mayor's entire communications staff (that being his press secretary and deputy press secretary) resigning en masse this afternoon because he basically took the statement they wrote for him Friday and wiped his ass with it.

Now, it's obvious the wheels are coming off the bus over there, and you certainly don't need me to tell you the specifics since they're just about everywhere right now.  But I did want to point out my absolute favourite part of that article (emphasis mine):

The resignations weaken a staff many councillors felt was too lean even before the crisis. Most of Ford’s remaining aides are young, and many they [sic] have little policy or government experience. Ford’s two most recent hires are 21-year-old J.C. Hasko, a Don Bosco football assistant coach and fitness trainer, and Brendan Croskerry, a musician who has worked for a marketing firm.

So basically, the only qualifications it takes to work for the mayor of one of the largest cities on the continent are either helping Ford with his (former) football team or, apparently, being a dude.  Just a dude.  Any old dude.  I'm not trying to make Ford out to be a chauvinist here (his offer to teach women about politics over coffee notwithstanding).  I suppose it could just as easily have been a dudette.  But yeah.  At this point, if you need a job, and you can stomach working for Rob Ford, I suggest you mosey on over to city hall.  Don't bother wearing a suit or bringing a resume or shaving or, hell, even bathing.  Just be a human being willing to work for him, and there's a good chance you'll be his new chief of staff.

Good luck!

Obvious Clickbait, or: Using Charity To Shame The Fords Into Transparency

On his radio show yesterday, Rob Ford definitively stated that the video of himself smoking crack and making racist and homophobic remarks "does not exist."

We (that is me) here at Queen Bathurst believe the growing consensus that the only reason he could make such a claim is that the mayor or his brother, Councillor Doug Ford, must have purchased the video for themselves and either squirreled it away or destroyed it.  Why else could he sound so sure?

If this is the case, not only do we have a mayor who smokes or has smoked crack while in office, not only do we have a mayor who throws around terms like "fag" and "fucking minorities" while in the company of people he once demanded be exiled from the city, but we also have a mayor participating in a coverup of his own illegal activity.

I'm not going to make any moral pronouncements about drug use or cast aspersions based on the company people keep.  What I am going to do is call bullshit at the top of my lungs over the unbelievable hypocrisy this behaviour displays.

So, in the spirit of Gawker's Crackstarter campaign, I've started an Indiegogo campaign of my own.

I'm calling it the Rob & Doug, Show Us Your Books campaign. 

What is the Rob & Doug, Show Us Your Books campaign, you might ask?  Well here's a handy little FAQ after the jump to answer some of the questions you may have:

But When I Grew Up, I Put Away Childish Things

Denials. They’re not just stupid homonymic clichés referencing northern African bodies of water. They’re also these cool things where you get to pretend something you did wasn’t actually a thing that happened, and if you say it loudly and repeatedly, sometimes people get sick of the whole topic and just go “yeah, whatever, fine. You weren’t the one who peed all over the bathroom floor even though you’re the only other person who lives here. Just shut the fuck up about it already.”

But sometimes the things we’ve done are just too blatant and too overwhelmingly important to pass off as being untrue.