Burnt Out On Fords

Taking some time off. Need to chill.

Rob Ford Broke Several More Laws Last Night And Queen Bathurst Has Filed A Complaint With The City Of Toronto

If that was a set up to watch the Fords fail, Sun News certainly went about it in a funny way.

Yesterday we told you about our reasons for believing that the Ford Nation "reality show" that aired last night on SNN was the worst kind of crass commercialism/carnival sideshow.  I also mentioned the opinion of Sun columnist and political strategist Warren Kinsella that the show was aired specifically so that the Fords' could fail and make their situation worse.

Sun News' Ford Nation: Carnival Sideshow? Network Setup? Illegal Campaign Contribution? Or All Of The Above?

Tonight marks the debut of one of the all-time world champion assholefests you or I are ever likely to see in our lifetimes.  Ford Nation, Sun News Network's "reality show" starring our hopefully-soon-to-be-erstwhile mayor and his hopefully-soon-to-be-struck-with-a-permanent-case-of-laryngitis brother, kicks off this evening at 8 PM.  This will be some kind of something.

If I Was Robyn Doolittle

Today has been pretty slow thus far as compared to yesterday.  Some interesting things did happen of course--Council stripped Mayor Ford of his committee appointment powers and his emergency management powers.  Ford in response gave a speech about how he totally gets it and he'd do the same, except of course he has to support himself so instead he's going to challenge the maneuvers in court.  He then decried the cost to the taxpayers of that court challenge--the one he's bringing himself.  You can't make this stuff up.

Anyway from this point forward Norm Kelly is basically the acting mayor.  By Monday, when motions to remove Ford's office budget, his ability to hire and fire staff, and his seat on the executive are passed, he'll literally just be a guy in Council called "Mayor" who can make his one vote on motions and not much else.  So I hope he enjoys the title.

Rob Ford Is A Cracked Out, Coked Up, Staff Attacking, Woman Harassing, Pussy Hunting, Hookering, Drunk Driving, Racist Tosspot With Ties To A Murder. Now Sue Me Because I Ain't Being "Careful"

"Be careful on what you write."

- Rob Ford, November 13, 2013

It's D-Day.  Nuclear Wednesday.  Armageddon.  Whatever the fuck.  It's one hell of a day, anyway.  Ford was verbally demolished in council (not that it mattered all that much since no one can actually force him to do anything at all) and admitted he'd bought illegal drugs.  Then the new Lisi ITO was dropped, sans a whole ton of the redaction from the last version.  And that's when shit got CRAZY!

Rob Ford Knew Anthony Smith, Says Staffer

Anthony Smith, one of the men in the infamous photo of Rob Ford in front of 15 Windsor Road, the alleged crack house, was shot and killed on March 28, 2013.

Today Rob Ford claimed he only met him the once and didn't know who he was.

Does The Already-Legendary Second Rob Ford Video Not Actually Exist?

From a brief Twitter exchange with Toronto Star crime reporter Jennifer Pagliaro, who is at the courthouse while the fate of the release of the Rob Ford crack video is decided:

In Which The Mayoral Crisis Is Solved To As Much Mutual Satisfaction As Possible

As I pointed out the other day, we're in some weird terrain at the moment.  We have a mayor who's admitted to smoking crack, who's lied to us numerous times, who may just be involved in some more serious crimes, who has lost all credibility and the ability to properly carry out his job as spokesperson for the city, and who, despite pressure from just about everyone, refuses to step down or even take a leave of absence.  Nobody wants him, but no one can get rid of him, and he's too pig headed and selfish to see the damage he's causing by remaining.  It would be funny if it wasn't happening to us (and is, I suppose, if the late night talk shows are any indication).

But wait.  There are some people who want him.  Those patriotic denizens of the so-called Ford Nation are as gung-ho as I've ever seen anyone to forgive and forget even the most egregious transgressions from their droog and leader.  We can all sit around bitching about how stupid these people are, but they still make up a sizeable percentage of the population.  Even, dare I say it, another plurality--especially if Ford manages to hunker down and emerge after the 11 months until the next election relatively unscathed (unlikely, I know, but possible).  As a band that ran afoul of another Toronto mayor once said: memory is a strange thing.  By next October enough of his casual supporters might have forgotten enough of this situation's urgency so as to put him back over the edge into another term.

Gord Perks Is Very, Very Wrong

On Wednesday I wrote an open letter to a few different constituencies regarding the Rob Ford mess.  One of those groups to whom part of it was addressed was that of city councillors on the right side of the spectrum who, while finally acknowledging that Ford has myriad problems, were taking a wait-and-see approach to embarking on any sort of political action against him.  I called them cowards trying to play both ends against the middle so as to maintain deniability that they had turned on their ally mayor should he manage to pull through this crisis and remain in office (or, god forbid, win another election).  I stand by that characterization - I think it's bordering on criminal that these people aren't screaming at the top of their lungs, pounding on tables, rending garments, anything it takes to get the point across that Ford has to go.

One direction from which I did not foresee opposition to taking strong legislative action if possible to remove Ford is the far left.  And then Gord Perks penned a letter to one of his constituents, explaining his decision to sit on his hands and wait for the next election to sort out the mayoral crisis.  The election taking place almost a full calendar year from now.  Perks gave an impassioned defence of the democratic process and its role as the paramount authority on whom should or should not be removed from office.  He made some excellent points about us knowing with whom we were getting into bed before the last election, and about not succumbing to easy, reactive anger when we're dissatisfied with what our elected officials do with the mandate we provide them.

PREDICTION: If Rob Ford Only Takes A Couple Of Weeks Off, We're All Totally Screwed

So here we go.  Rob Ford's mom and sis think he's a little troubled but basically alright.  His brother thinks he should take a week or two off (because everybody kicks crack in a fortnight, dontcha know?).  The Toronto Sun is talking about a month or two, as are some of his most ardent council supporters (Mammo you dog, I figured you'd have recognized the opportunity for a palace coup and pounced by now).  Sure, the people on the other side of the ideological aisle in the press and on council are still calling for his resignation.  But come on now.  Rob Ford resign over a pesky thing like being a lying, drunken  crackhead with some unexplained ties to murder, extortion, and a whole universe of transgressions great and small?  Not on your life.

Don´t you see, he will have a SUBSTANCE ABUSE PROBLEM to point to!  Now that Sven Dougi has given him the cover he needs to take a couple weeks off, he can spend three weeks on a fishing boat or a Caribbean beach or even in some high class Betty Ford knockoff and he will have ACKNOWLEDGED HE HAS A PROBLEM.  He will have SOUGHT TREATMENT FOR AN ALCOHOL AND DRUG ISSUE.

Ford Watch: Day Crack+2

It is the second day since the mayor of Toronto admitted that during his time in office he smoked crack while in a drunken stupor.

He hasn't quit yet.

Yeah.  I know.

An Open Letter To Anyone Interested In This Rob Ford Business, Containing Some Specified Targets

It's been months, but I've resurrected the blog for one post.  I couldn't resist.

Dear Whomever,

Rob Ford is an awful human being.  I'm not parsing words here (unlike a certain mayor I could name).  Rob Ford is terrible.  Rob Ford is really, really crappy.  Rob Ford is just the worst.

There, now that the polite part of my letter is out of the way, let's get to the good stuff.

TO THE SUPPORTERS OF ROB FORD:  If you still support him, you are stupid.  Monumentally stupid.  You should probably move out of Toronto so you don't pollute our gene pool with your stupidity. Evolution has left you behind.  This has nothing to do with his politics, only his character and his actions.  I want to be crystal clear on this point because I don't want anyone to get the impression that I'm joking or that I only sort of believe this. I can't emphasize this enough.  If you still support Rob Ford you are seriously dumb. You don't deserve to be allowed to handle money or have children or have any sort of position of authority in your career or be involved in any other situation where you have even a scintilla of responsibility over anything. You shouldn't own a goldfish. You should probably be hospitalized and observed closely for the rest of your life. You are a liability as a person. Need I go on?  Okay, I will.  You are the most gullible group of morons to ever grace this planet.  You make me wish chemical castration could be legally applied based on the comment section of the Toronto Sun's web site.

Do you think I'm being unfair to you?  Let me spell it out for you in terms even you can understand.  THE MAYOR WHOM YOU SUPPORT BECAUSE YOU THINK HE'S JUST A NORMAL GUY LIKE YOU AND THAT HE SAVES THE CITY AND YOU, THE TAXPAYER, MONEY IS ACTUALLY A SPOILED RICH BRAT WHO NEVER WORKED A REAL DAY IN HIS LIFE, WHO HASN'T ACTUALLY DONE MUCH OF ANYTHING AS FAR AS SAVING TAX DOLLARS, WHO HAS SCARED OFF SO MUCH INVESTMENT IN THE CITY OF TORONTO NOW AND IN THE FUTURE THAT YOU WILL PROBABLY END UP PAYING FAR MORE OUT OF POCKET IN THE COMING YEARS THAN YOU EVER HAVE, AND WHO, NEED I REMIND YOU, IS A LYING CRACKHEAD WHO HANGS OUT WITH GANGBANGERS, SOME OF WHOM END UP DEAD SHORTLY THEREAFTER.  Is it sinking in yet?  Should I kick you in the genitals several times in a row?  It seems to me if I did you'd still hand me over your week's pay if I asked nicely enough and liberally sprinkled the words "gravy train" into my request.  Holy shit you are the worst.  Wake up before your families have you declared legally incompetent and try to get power of attorney over you.  I don't think they'd have a tough time doing so.